I stand with Corey

I remember the first time my dad told me about the evils of pedophilia and child predators. At the time, I could never imagine what made him tell me that day. It was perfect. I was maybe 9 years old. We were sitting out on the picnic table, stargazing, talking about his youth. He sobered and says, “Kimberly, do you know about the wolves?”  I was still cheery from a story about a lhasa apso and neighbor child.  “No, what wolves?”A tiny piece of my youth ended that night.  He didn’t talk in euphemism or gentle terms. He told me what darkness looked like, what it wanted, how it hid. “I don’t care if it’s a friend, a teacher, or the president, there is not a threat or force on Earth more powerful than me. You know that. So, when I give you permission to say or do whatever you need to, you will never be in trouble for protecting yourself… or anyone else…”

When he trailed off he was looking down at our neighbor’s house. My best friends lived there. Two little girls. That pause and his quiet darkness, still makes me so sad. He was a superhuman force of nature. My daddy was everything he promised, but he couldn’t be everywhere. He had to give me some of his superpowers.

It wasn’t planned, but tonight, I had to tell my kids almost the same thing. They’ve always been told to speak up and get help. Because of my work, they have been told about grooming and certain types of deviants. Yesterday, my son saw what happens when no one around them has been told… given permission to fight to protect themselves. Or maybe, they weren’t even taught to recognize danger. So much paraphilia has been normalized and celebrated, it’s hard to tell.

“You will never ever be in trouble for confrontation. Use your tools. Speak up. If you say it, the other kids around you will know it’s okay to fight too! You are stronger than you know. And no consequence from a bunch of administrators could ever be worse than what will happen to your body or your soul, if you do nothing.” In a lot of ways, I know that this won’t make our kids invincible, but we can’t be everywhere.  All we can do is share our superpowers with them.

If you’ve been reading long, you can probably guess that my kids think I inherited my dad’s mantle of superhuman force of nature. I can’t let them down. As adults, we’re not released from that obligation or permission to stand up and be vocal when we see evil. It won’t always work. We’ll be met with opposition, ignorance, and complacency, but we still have to keep fighting. I think that’s why the trafficking world found me. My dad never gave me permission to quit fighting. I’ll never give it to my kids.

So, when I see a survivor speak out, I have to be sure they know they’re not alone. Corey Feldman grew up in a world of institutional rape and vile atrocity. Compared to stories of the survivors I’ve met from Appalachia, take out the glitz factor, and their stories are so similar. Day after day, he and his costars were subjected to casting couches, passed around parties, plied with drugs and booze, and when they get too old, thrown out.  He survived. The same can’t be said for all his contemporaries. He’s probably been drowning in the survivor’s guilt forever.

I’ve spent my whole life watching child stars fall, crash, fade. I’m not surprised by the current Hollywood shake-up. When it’s not on some heart rending “where are they now” interview, you can see the open secret being broadcast in the movies these criminals make. Don’t believe me? Watch Scream 3.  Weinstein isn’t the only guy from the credits that is being called out for rape and abuse.

What IMDB is too polite to spoil is that Sidney Prescott’s mom was an actress that got raped at a casting party (apparently, she was told to expect it) which caused a pregnancy, that produced a serial killer. From there, said psycho was unleashed on a 3 film killing spree.  This, concluded with the murderer going after of a bunch of actors, that were also exploited for sex so they could get in the very movie that would be their doom. There’s a literary term for what that is, but I just see it as open bragging.

Still not convinced? He and Corey Haim talked openly about it in 2007 and 2008. Then, the ladies of The View (Bawbwa particularly) blew him off.  This is another interview from 2013. How hypocritical, that when a man cries rape, no one gives a shit?

 

If Corey wants to make this film and do what no talkshow host or publisher has been willing to, let’s make it happen. I’m not completely selfless.  I hope that this will help fight trafficking and exploitation too. I figure, we have to cut off demand and  demand isn’t limited to powerful Hollywood types and politicians. This might put a pretty decent dent in it.

One last thing. Watch the video I link to for “bawbwa”. Look at her body language and dismissive gesture when he says “People want me dead. People do not want me here.” I remember her interviewing Anne Heche during a psychotic break. Bawbwa kept a sympathetic and interested face, the whole time the actress talked about how she was a 4th dimensional being. But she couldn’t muster a shoulder pat for a man she’s known since he was 14? If that’s not a clue….

 

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My street name is….

“Mood Killah”

I wrote a great blog about meeting a woman at the hospital yesterday, but as my mind wandered and I just kept ‘talking’, something changed. This really didn’t go the direction I thought it would. I found myself wondering if the abolitionists of the past, looked at the 13th Amendment and shrugged, “Great only 376 more things to figure out.” Did they feel suffocated by the amount that still needed to be done?

I *think* I’d be embarrassed to go back in time and tell them what we did with their hard work. “We have more slaves than ever. We pretend we don’t. Our country prefers children. There’s actually growing movement to make child slavery legal. It’s even sanctioned and encouraged by one of the fastest growing/spreading religions in the world. There are more laws protecting that religion than protecting our kids. Sorry we suck at emancipation. But bruh, the quotes look really cool in memes. *winky face*”…. cause I emoji when  talk now.

I’ve often fantasized about Mary Shelley crashing the Women’s March with an entourage of monsters. But, much like abolition, I’d be sad and ashamed to tell her, Eleanor Roosevelt, or Susan B. Anthony that everything they ever fought for has be castigated to ensuring that women be permitted kill the unborn and be as raunchy, promiscuous, and vile as any of the worst males society has to offer, yet ensure they are treated like the best.

I guess today is a little cloudy for me.  The sun will come out tomorrow… tomorrow…

Now, I don’t even like the article I wrote, so  here’s the content I was going to hyperlink and the last paragraph that sent me down the path.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12

Truthfully, I find it a pollyanna idea and a fruitless endeavor.  Take a look around. What do we do with those kids after we identify them?  Obviously, they need to be followed up with, to figure out if they’re victims or have other issues.  Then, if they need counseling and services?  What if they need to go to fostercare? What if they need inpatient care? We can’t even meet the needs of the few kids we do know about. How do we handle them when they are identified in droves? Any one care to look up the adults that were busted in the FBI’s latest sweep?  I do every time. Misdemeanors and outstanding warrants. Federal beefs are rare. What hope do we have of ensuring the kids we identify will actually be protected?  Their abusers locked up for eternity?….

Calling it like I see it…

Two years ago, I was incensed at the murder of a retired Army paratrooper, turn police officer. The suspect was a convicted felon that had just finished a nickel for another murder. After paying his debt to society, he immediately robbed a bank in my area, then went on a cross country crime spree that cost Daniel Webster his life and ended with the suspect being shot in San Diego.  The suspect survived.

My abolitionist spirit was in its infancy, but this sense of outrage at criminals being returned to our communities and exposing them to our youth really grabbed me.  We have a gang problem here. It’s not Chicago or LA., but they still manage to do a lot of killing and violence over turf and rap videos. It’d be nice if we stopped sending these thugs for what equates to criminal summer camp and boarding school.  They come back with better contacts and a little more hair on their chests, ready to teach the kids.  I kinda wish they’d do a convict swap program with places like Utah or Montana…. Panama.

Anyhow. I was upset, as I do. I wrote a lengthy facebook post (original) which received zero likes or comments from my very small friend list. I know facebook hides my posts from feeds because the words I use trigger their algorithm, but it didn’t take the sting out of being the only person I know that was so upset. I’ve had a couple years and found plenty of people to join me. I also expanded my outrage to include sex offenders and traffickers.

If you’ve been paying attention, sex offenders have been gaining ground in California, winning their right to have contact with children on Halloween. They’re also aimed at “reforming” the registries. They say laws limiting commerce and housing for men and women who are convicted of victimizing and brutalizing, are “unfair.” That’s really the tip of the iceberg. California is not the only place. I’ve seen a lot of chatter out East too.

Which brings me back to my original point, “Why are we putting dangerous criminals back into our communities?” I’ve already gotten hate mail and attacks for my unerring conviction that these people cannot be reformed or controlled, unless they are contained… permanently. Shockingly, their strongest defenders are single mothers and middle aged men.

In the age of Weinsteins and Clintons, you all should be asking why our legislators are making life easier for these monsters, while ignoring the very real pandemic of child exploitation? How on Earth do predators have a voice in our government?…. Oh wait…

I do encourage you to click the links for “California”, “tip,” and “Iceberg”. If  you’re not sure what you should be doing right now? 1)Turn off entertainment that is sexually exploitative. 2) Double check the registries where you live, work, and shop. Stay away from their houses. 3) Read the following posts from my work blog to catch up on the missing child and exploitation world. 4) Google the subject and keep learning. Be a mouthpiece for emancipation.

My first speaking tour  post, discussing human trafficking. Has links to other resources.

– Finding Kids Is Hard  The ins and outs of the civilian missing persons racket.
How to Join an Organization How to vet non-profits to avoid drama.
How to Help Without Joining  Things you can do to combat exploitation or ignorance, without joining a club.

If you really just want to have a teary eyed moment… This is basically the moment that catapulted me from pundit and lukewarm advocate to ABOLITIONIST.

Useful Idiots

I am not really a name caller…. maybe I am. I dunno. Anyhow, this term popped in my head and I couldn’t help but feel like, “this needs attention!”

Who are useful idiots today? If you’re a Democrat, it’s a whirlwind tour of campuses. A few bits on MTV, mumble about student loans and bodily autonomy and you’re in like Flint… or not Flint, is that offensive now? If you’re a Republican, you can shake your saber, say “God” a lot, and seal the deal with some borderline illegal threats towards other countries.

If you hate America and want to see it succumb to civil war, you can count on the undereducated and victimhood class to rally to your cause. Blindly and well intentioned, of course. No one here actually wants that. They’re idiots, not monsters.

I find that the more I read/see, the more convinced I am, than ever before, that both major parties and their various socialist, libertarian, green, and independent offshoots are all in cahoots.  As long as we spend all day and night worrying about eachother, we won’t notice that we’re pawns in a long running scam controlled by a multi-billion dollar lobbying industry, impossibly large phamatech, and a trillion dollar media industry.

Yeah, I sound like an Info Wars reject.  You should hear my speil on how Jade Helm was the ground work for a shadow government seeking to enslave half of us and kill the other half…. Another time. If we persist in being these useful idiots, by clicking, sharing, bitching, and boycotting, they will keep getting rich while our children are sold to slavers, our cancers treated with poison, and our futures mortgaged to the hilt.

I propose one alternative: insist on solution based discussion and action. Break free from the herd.

I’m Boycotting Your Strike

And so should you.

The news is afire with sad tales of immigrants who followed the lead and urging of no one in particular, on social media, that declared “A Day Without Immigrants will demonstrate the impact of deportation and zealous immigration bans.” The fact that it was on a Thursday, before a 3 day weekend would have been enough to keep me disinterested. Who doesn’t angle for the 4 day weekend? Amateurs!

Seriously though, I was dubious that any self respecting business owner would forgo a day of income or risk the wrath of partisan politics. I was even more doubtful that an immigrant (in today’s climate of fear and xenophobia) would risk their job by skipping work. Nevermind actually screwing over employers by no-showing, effectively leaving them shorthanded and potentially losing income.  Nothing says, “appreciate me,” quite like letting the boss know that you’re so easily tricked.

My national day off is March 8.  I say that jokingly.  I’ve heard tale of intercepted emails (sent via company email accounts) from employees trying to rally as many bodies, to strike as possible. “The more that don’t show up the better, they cannot fire us all.”  I cannot even begin to comprehend who would hear that and think, “dude, totally getting in on that!”

Don’t make excuses here. These women are being encouraged to disrupt businesses, give up income, and endanger their livelyhoods, by a woman who advocates Sharia law and prefers the company of rapist murderers over pro-life women. The very law she promotes also says women should not work in fields that would damage their husbands… this includes interacting with men, driving cars, or doing men’s work.

I’m gonna take a minute, let that sink in.  If you want a bunch of women (whom you think are infidels) to forgo employment or just suffer, what better way than to trick them into getting fired?  Kinda like how she tricked a bunch of infidels into defiling their own flag, committing to Sharia by donning khimar (vaguely: hijab).  In Islam, those women are going to hell. Just like the ones lining up for abortions. Convert or burn.

Okay, so that’s what I think. Here’s the rest. I do believe there are areas where women are getting shorted.  I also recognize and appreciate the contributions of our immigrant neighbors.  But, if we’re going to hold these entities to the fire, there’s not much incentive for them to WANT to do better. It’s a good way to get half measures and punitive raises.

I propose a different tact. Wanna convince a bunch of people that their immigrant neighbors are integral and totally not mooches, why not invite everyone to visit their businesses?  Why not reward companies that hire immigrants?  Why not build up our neighborhoods with community outreach?  I’m sure the immigrants would appreciate the income boom and fresh customers.

Want to close that income gap? I’m pretty sure taking off more time than men won’t win anyone over. I have no clue how closing my business will convince people I deserve more money?  I think a better approach is to nominate business owners for a Forbes style list for best pay, best leave policies, etc.  Again, invite people to visit those local, women owned, businesses. Reward the people we’re trying to help.

I’ll be honest here. The 8th was supposed to be my day off. I rarely plan those, but I’m gonna forgo it and cover any cases that need it. I’m pretty sure that if my boss figures out that being contrary to radical feminists would mean I’m working more, he’d invest heavily in pussy hats and hijabs. So, shhhh.

Never Underestimate the Stupid in Powerful People

In Large Groups… Or something like that….

I’m going to take a few minutes away from my usual trafficking and irreverence to talk politics. Sorry, not sorry. One need only turn on the TV for affirmation that our society has lost its collective minds. The idea that our culture is under attack is not a stretch. But from whom?

In the 1950s, social scientist Solomon Asch, formulated an experiment to study the effects of peer pressure in large groups. The result was that, when faced with being the lone voice of dissent, most subjects adheared to patently wrong answers of peers. Asch tried varying versions to find that lynchpin scenario that kept people from going along with the crowd, but never found it. (Hence the failure of programs like DARE.) People were more likely to dissent if there was someone else doing it first, but those scenarios required substantial conditioning.

Twenty some odd years later, another social scientist [Stanley Milgram] wanted to test the boundaries of authority on normal people. How far would they go and how readily would they dish out inhumane treatment if assured it’s not their responsibility?  Milgram discovered that the color of authority, from his prestigious school and title had more to do with the maleability of normal people than the actual effects or consequences of the acts.  I strongly suspect this phenomenon informed the social justice campaigns of the era.

Imagine the impact of both phenomenon.  These authorities divest their audience of responsibility, introduce, then reinforce the counterintuitive ideaologies. Most people will go along with it while simultaneously assuming the others are conforming out of agreement. Dissent is actually quashed and negative feedback becomes a form of electroshock [that was only simulated in the experiments]. Students are then encouraged to become the enforcers.

In Asch’s experiments, he discovered that half of the subjects that conformed, did so, knowing they were wrong. The other half of conformists truly believed and defended their acquiescence to the group, in spite of evidence to the contrary. The people who consistently and fervently dissented were easily quieted from argument by labeling them deviant and subjugating their stance.

As I hinted earlier, these two studies gave birth to a host of similar studies and experiments that found that children are even easier to trick into trusting authority or conforming. Ever wondered why they stand in line for everything, are assigned seats, and are required to provide similar school supplies? Group compliance makes the dissenting children “deviants.”

So, fast forward to today. Nonconfomism is the in thing… as long as you also comply with the authority. We’ve spent years adhering and trusting authority. We view people in suits as more trustworthy or knowledgeable. Doctors are infallible. We presume college degrees are synonymous with knowledge. What was once argued as a fallacy of debate (call to authority) is now the basis of debate and defense against logical dissent. In fact, we’re so mired in the fight for conformity and compliance with our authority, that the topic of the discussion is of little real consequence.

The recent election is a prime example. Love or hate the outcome, no one has held the media accountable for prognosticating a Clinton victory. Nor have they been held accountable for any of their missteps. Michael Crichton called it years ago, when he went after the media for letting go of journalistic values, in favor of profit and sensationalism.  They get away with it, in large part, because they are viewed as authority and we’re programmed to avoid dissent. We might lash out at one side or another but the media is the greased pig in every debacle.

There are easily another dozen social scientists and psychologies we could draw from, to explain today’s climate, but I chose these two for good reason.  They support my opinion. See how that works? I also chose them, because they’re the basis for my following suggestions on how to combat rabid extremism in the left and right. If you think your side doesn’t have it, please reread the part where half of Asch’s subject didn’t think they were wrong.

1) Do not debate a group.  If you’re on social media, tell the person you’ll gladly have that duscussion via private chat.  If you’re at a party or family dinner, politely offer to take the person to coffee and discuss it one on one. If they ask why not now? Simply reply, “You don’t have to, we can go burn one outside if you like.”  The whole point of discussion is to communicate ideas. Removing the pressure of performance and embarrassment allows for more honest discourse.

2) Establish common ground to start. If your argument is religious in nature and your conversation mate is atheist,  obviously quoting the bible won’t work. When non-Catholics ask me why something is the way it is, I start with, “I can explain it, but we’d have to start with mutual agreement in the teachings of the Magisterium of the Catholic Church. ” That’s a show stopper. Have a reason based discussion planned or do not engage.

3) Fact check your sources. If you don’t read the studies I supplied, I’m talking to you.  Just because something seems reasonable and fits your narrative or worldview, doesn’t make it valid or true. I’ve seen some really compelling arguments for the Earth being flat, alien visitations, and shadow governments being operated by lizard people. These appeal to me, because the idea of humans being so evil makes me sad. I wish there were lizard people behind all this…. I bet you’re thinking it’s time to check my sources.

4) Stick to I statements and avoid detraction.  “John Smith is a racist.” Unless you’ve seen John Smith participating in a lynching or him saying, “Hi, I’m a racist.” Chances are, it’s detraction. Instead, say, “I have concerns about John Smith’s policies towards minorities based on….” Then provide source material. The media is not a source.

5) Guilt by asociation is real, but there are qualifiers first. Association is not synonymous with endorsement. Using the example above. Let’s say John Smith has been convicted of a hate crime against a minority. He sports all the tatoos and has a youtube channel exhorting the wonders of bigotry.  If he thinks my work is meaningful and he wants to help, that’s association. If I say, thanks but your support will hurt my mission and alienate key members of the community that I need. That’s a weak refusal, and may give the impression that I would welcome Mr. Smith’s support if it weren’t for those people. So, guilt by association would apply. If I say, “I’m  glad you agree that child exploitation of any race is a travesty and great evil, but I disagree with your ideaologies, and even feel they are part of the problem. I do not want them associated with my cause.”  That’s strong enough to say I don’t qualify for guilt by association.  There’s a big “but” here. I would be stupid not to continue the dialogue with that person, and try to bring him back from evil. That’s evangelization, not association. Just like a Christian talking to atheists, the discussion doesn’t diminish their beliefs.

6) Learn the meanings of the words you’re using. Muslim is not a race. It’s a religion. African American is an ethnicity, not a race. White is a race, not a nationality. Mexican is a nationality, not a language. Spanish is a language, not a culture.  Culture is where it gets tricky. Culture is influenced by all of these and geography, though it’s not limited by it. Texan is all of these, because we’re superior.  You can fact check that, it’s never been debunked. While we’re at it, theories are not facts. Medicine is not science. And politician is not a profession.

7) Don’t assume you know what the other person is going to say. Query your friend and find out the basis of their viewpoint. “Just so I know what we’re talking about, what do you believe?”  They’ll usually cover why, but if they don’t say, ask. Control your reaction and resist the urge to jump into debate.  Restate their opinion back, and make note of the bullet points. Do not resort to “you people” generalities. This is your friend, not “one of them.”
8) Remember that study? Half are believers, half are followers.  If they are a follower, you may find that their ideas are influenced by trauma, misinformation, or even misunderstanding. Their opinion will seem like spite, not reason. Attacking that, will lose the person and reinforce their position. If they are  believer, they will resort to ad hoc arguments and generalizations either regurgitating unverified reports or prognosticating unknowable “facts.”  For instance, “if we continue to do x, y, and z, the effects on the economy will be negative.” That’s prognostication and unknowable.

9) Know your subject matter and do not be afraid to say, “I don’t know the answer to that, but I’d like to explore that with you.”  If you don’t know your topic and engage in this exchange, without a willingness to be humble and honest about your knowledge-base, you will affirm the misinformation being spread.

10) Do not use weaponized empathy, emotionalism, lies, or stunts to make your case. If your perspective is reason based and supported by documented fact, there is no reason to resort to that.  If the other person does it, ask, “Do you have any facts or just your feelings?”

11) Agree to disagree is a good outcome. If the only thing the two of you accomplish is stating your perspectives, feeling out weaknesses in the other’s stance, and saying, “this has been interesting, I’d like to talk about it again, when we’ve both had time to think about what the other said.”  This demonstrates that neither side is the devil and civility is possible.

12) “They” want you to fail.  I usually discourage resorting to anonymous “they” but in this instance, it is vital to understand that there are truly people out there with a vested interest in watching us spiral into chaos and hatred. Who “they” are is another topic of debate, but regardless of whom you or I think it is, everyone can fight it, by following the above guidelines.

So, as I said, the two studies I supplied are barely scratching the surface. My hope is just to get you thinking about how the other side got to that point. I have been calling it “progressive cannibalism,” but I suspect the truth is more insidious.  Here’s links on how to have a good discussion, fight with a loved one, and types of logic fallacies that impede meaningful conversations.

Slow Your Roll

I see a lot of people celebrating the arrest of backpage execs. At first I was excited, but the cynical abolitionist in me took a longer look at the move by California and Texas authorities and I’m just not convinced that this is more than a token gesture… a PR stunt.

Technically and legally, I’m not sure they meet the definition of traffickers, at least no more than the ISPs/cell carriers the traffickers use, the company that invented bitcoin, or even long dead ancient races that invented currency based trade. Hell, if we’re pointing fingers, I dare say the hoteliers, apartments, and rentals found hosting these rings might be just as culpable. It’s an interesting turn, considering I was recently told that pornographers who produce and distribute child porn as currency are not traffickers…

So, what does this PR stunt accomplish? Raise awareness? Put online entities on notice? Awesome… Or will it drive the most cooperative online posting site in the world to a foreign country (or to the dark web) where it no longer has to cooperate with investigations; and will likely stop providing reporting tools and the plethora of information that is currently shares with law enforcement (upon request without warrants). I don’t like backpage, but in terms of big deals, it’s shooting a sedated lion.

My only hope is that this easy win (for today at least..) inspires other jurisdictions to learn more about how they can combat trafficking in their backyards. I really would rather see the millions upon millions that will be spent pursuing this, being used to train departments, advocates, and open more hospital beds and programs to survivors.

So, what’s my suggestion for all of you? Get back to work. Talk about trafficking to the uninformed, let your leadership know that punishments are inadequate, ask you local victim programs what they need, DEMAND RESILIENCY TRAINING IN SCHOOLS AND CHURCHES, share missing child posters, and be a cheerleader for the boots on the ground. I cannot stress that enough. It’s totally self serving, but in those quiet minutes in the wee hours or when traffic lulls my mind, the weight of it all really hits. I don’t know anyone in this racket that doesn’t struggle. Your support is everything.