We Suck

Our foreign-born first lady has launched a campaign against cyber bullying. That’s effing amazing! With Ivanka talking about trafficking and Melania talking about the dangers online, we might get some headway with parents! They might finally listen when I tell them to turn off the screens!

The news coverage this morning?

Internet erupts in criticism of FLOTUS’ accent, clothing. Spread nude photos and call her a whore.

This really disappoints me. How do we tell children, “this passes,” “ignore the bullies,” “someday you’ll be driving a BMW while they flip burgers…”? How will they believe us, if the most protected woman in America is being violated and attacked so openly? How can they trust when there are crowds cheering when a woman demands that another women be raped or harmed?

The reality is, the way we are, the bullying will never end. No one is safe, and it’s usually the best of us on the recieving end. These monsters are driving children, and adults alike, to suicide. I guess, we can no longer see the light at the end of the tunnel. The ones that don’t kill themselves? They’re so vulnerable to online predators, that they go from stranger to ‘in danger’ in minutes.

Then! After becoming victims, the cycle starts over, and they’re bullied for having been hurt. I’ve seen a couple local cases where vulnerable girls were bullied, sextorted, doxxed, bullied, then committed/attempted suicide. In that order.

Something’s gotta give here. The lines between online abuse and suicicide and self harm and exploitation are already so blurred. Soon… very soon… it will be a given that a dead teen was probably bullied, self harmed, got conned, and raped. Worse than that, it’ll be normal.


Transplants or Harvests?

Most people go their whole lives never enduring MRI, fMRI, or EEGs. To most people, these tests are the gospel.  They are cutting edge science that enable fictional autistic or drug addled doctors to make the last minute, and life saving, discovery that saves the day. Anything that accurate, must also be trusted when it says there is no hope… right?

Unlike most people, I’ve had those and many many others. I’ve done the research into their efficacy and accuracy. I’ve also read the release of liability before consenting to these. They state pretty clearly that the practice of medicine is an art, there are no guarantees, and that the technology is only an indicator, not a finite diagnostic. More often than not, these tests were not reliable. When it was life or death, the tests didn’t tell the story at all.  I’m alive in spite of the technology and tests that would have me die. Thankfully, I was blessed  with an amazing doctor that knew better.

In the wrong hands, this technology is being used to end lives, stop treatments, and misdiagnose. Bad doctoring kills over 250,000 people in the US, every year. That’s not including the patients they kill on purpose. The medical industry is one of the fastest growing mortalies we have. Anyone wondering why we don’t have “Doctor Control” rallies?

Bad doctoring kills over 250,000 people in the US, every year.

And…. this is why I’m having the organ donation symbol removed from all my ID. Instead, my family has instructions to donate ONLY after natural death. Time and again, doctors push to do harvests from “brain dead” patients that are not dead, or comatose or vegetative patients they insist will never recover. If you learn the history of “brain dead” and its use in the US and other Western countries, you’d see my hesitation at trusting these tests to declare me dead, when they are barely effective on animated patients that can answer their questions and comply with instructions.

Time and again, families are told that all hope is lost and forced to watch loved ones die of dehydration/suffocation, or get wheeled out to be harvested like a corn crop. When you think about it, harvesting from supposedly irredeemable patients is not too dissimilar from the live harvests that got China in so much trouble a few years ago. Granted, they are collecting political prisoners and executing them on an as-needed basis. They are the villains of every sci-fi organ donation movie ever. With a constant need in the US, the pressure on US doctors to get those donations is pretty intense. Perhaps, too intense.

To be fair, there will always be detractors that insist that no one that is “legally brain dead” has ever recovered. They quibble over terminology and evoke names like Schiavo and Quinlan, to differentiate between persistent vegetative states, brain death, and comas.  If you click the links above, I would argue that the language in the media is not nearly as important as this one thing:

Doctors are obtaining permission or court orders to harvest organs from patients that can still recover.

They are advising families to end lives, before those lives are over. Whether these live harvests and starvation deaths are the result of more malpractice, or are a result of doctors playing God, I don’t know. I just know that I trust my family and God, more than them.




Racial Apathy or Voyeurism?

I’ve been looking for missing people for a couple years now. I’m going to let you in on a little secret. When it comes to missing persons, young women especially, race matters. I would dearly love to one day finish my degree so I can tell you with certainty why that is, but for now, I only have a couple guesses.

Before I ever actually investigated a case, my interest was piqued by the disappearance of Natalie Holloway. As tragic as it was, I was astounded and equally confounded by the outpouring of interest and emotional response. It was as though this was the first 18 year old from the US ever went missing. Natalie has never been found.

When compared to the disappearance of Rebeca Jose, barely a month prior, the difference in support and outrage is easily quantifiable. I doubt anyone beyond a couple NCMEC junkies and her family could tell you anything about this 17 year old Latina.

The obvious answer is to suggest that predominantly white media and its viewers are racist. When I have a missing black kid, I get pretty close to that conclusion too. What other explanation is there for a white 15 yo’s poster getting 17,000 views in one day, compared to barely a 1000 for a black one? Social scientists have termed this “Missing white woman syndrome.” Conversely, when a black or hispanic kid/adult goes missing, I’ve found myself referring to the underwhelming response as, “Missing brown girl apathy.” But, I think I’m wrong.

When you compare the high profile missing cases, yes, race of the victim plays a roll, but I don’t think it’s sympathy driving the interest. I think it’s voyeurism, a little sadism, and self interest. People like drama. They love to see suffering. And who suffers the most, but someone who hasn’t had to starve, endure stressful police encounters, or choose between an education or a minimum wage job?

Like, I said. I may be completely off base. Considering all my unsolved or unresolved cases involve minority and impoverished females, I have trouble doubting my own opinion. Of the fifty to sixty missing person cases I’ve worked or consulted on, I know for absolute certain that the hardest ones have been minorities.

Take from that, what you will, but I do hope you’ll think about that next time you tune in to Nancy Grace and she parades another blond haired blue eyed victim across your screen. For every one of them, there are hundreds of brown ones still waiting for justice. The media is exploitative and feeds us suffering.

M is for Missing Persons

If you have found my blog, chances are, you already know my speil. I’m a private investigator. I specialize in missing and exploited persons.” I’m still working on a way to make it a paying gig, whether though patrons and benefactors, speaking and lectures, or maybe grants and agencies. As long as families don’t have to pay or fundraise, I’m in.

Anyhow, let’s touch on the “missing” part of that bit. Did you onow there is no waiting period to report a person missing? Each agency or municipality has authority to set a time period or litmus style requirement, but at the core, you can report someone missing as soon as you have reason to believe that something is wrong?

I’ve been on the phone with a detective and said, “this 18 yo left home without money or a power cable for her phone. She’s not been home or at work in 11 days.” And the detective refused to file a report. His agency is getting a refresher on missing persons protocols from the Fusion Center. Since then, we’ve spoken and he says they will take any report.

Here’s some tips for family members and parents when reporting a person :


Give description with distinguishing marks, last known outfit.

Tell officer if charging cable, electronic devices, or money are missing.

Tell officer of any history of abuse, drug use, mental illness, or recent (6 mos) significant events like bullying, suicide attempt, loss of family member, break up, etc.

Tell officer if person is undergoing any type of treatment and all medications.

Have the police put the child is the NCMEC database.

Only share the police or a professional made poster.


Call to “report a runaway.” You are reporting a person missing. The term runaway will breed apathy and disinterest.

Make accusations, act a fool, or broadcast dirty laundry online. If you can’t be civil, shut up.

Be dismissive of the dangers, especially in front of police. If you broadcast your disinterest or disfunction, they will be equally as dismissive.

Lie or exagerate to officers or detectives. Especially about the roles of friends. Most missing teen cases I have, I compare notes with the detective, almost daily. More oftent than not, parents will tell us different stories, usually to create a sense of urgency or to get more people working the case. It does not work and hurts credibility. Once we see that happen, we begin withholding new details and not returning parent calls.

Withold details because they are embarassing or painful. Drug use, history or abuse, mental issues, whatever, are vital for search team members. They also give detectives a clear idea of risk factors for trafficking.

Here’s the last tip:

Have a united front online and on TV. I have consulted on cases from around the country and the best way to get dropped by the media is to have family drama get played out in public. Designate a single spokes person and everyone else shut up. Every. Single. Time.

And here is the last thing. Sometimes, nothing works and cases get ignored, fall through the cracks, or are straight up mishandled. Do not give up. There are people like me that won’t.

Since I have you here, can you share Lisa’s poster? I’m still in school, as it were, learning how to do what I need to to find her. I will find her. I could use your help though. Share this. Talk about her. Talk about how her dad answers his phone with a cracking voice when he knows it’s about her. Talk about how a 24 year old black woman was last seen half dressed, walking into the woods, and police closed up shop and said she’s fine. Talk about how there’s been no activity on her accounts, credit, or close knit family for over a year and police still insist she is not in danger. Do that for me please?

H is for How Things Don’t Change

I’ve been doing abolition work for a couple years now. It feels like herding cats most days. I still run into cops and civilians that think children can consent to being prostitutes… and want to arrest them! I still have to tell other abolitionists to stop saying “runaway”. I still get shocked deer in the headlight looks when I correct stereotypes. I still have to fight with people that would legalize prostitution and lower consent ages.

I would love to say it’s less often, but it’s not. It would seem, that as technology has grown so fast, that ignorance and self interest have overtaken any sense of social responsibility most people have. Here is a top example:

If you talk to anyone in the “rescuing trafficking victims” racket, backpage is one of the easiest places to procure a child for sale. Now, I have mixed feelings on this shutdown, but not cause I think being sold like chattle is an inalienable human right. Frankly, it won’t attack demand or even slow down traffickers. Now, I’ll have to work ten times harder and probably have to do something unethical to ensure I can still rescue kids. I do mean kids.

The average age of prostitutes in the US is 16…. AVERAGE AGE.

Here’s one of my posts from last year, upon learning that several of the abolitionist and prolife groups I support, and work with, had been disinvited from attending the march.

Let me end with this. Even if you (wrongly) support legalization of prostitution, wouldn’t you still be opposed to enslaving men, women, and children? Can’t those two sentiments occupy the same headspace?

G is for Gullibility

I admit, occasionally, I will paruse comment sections on memes or news articles. I’ve finally learned not to actually comment on them, but I do marvel at the collective absence of fact or critical thinking that fills comment after comment.

“I feel very strongly that…. (insert technically inaccurate statement) is (insert subjective judgement).”

That’s probably the most common one I see. It’s closely followed by a handful of other emotion based, and thoroughly subjective type of statements. Normally, I regard these as “weaponized emotions” because, if anyone fails to validate the statement, this hurts feelings… not the actual topic.

Anyhow, I am beginning to wonder if these people are not just poor debaters, but actually victims of some kind of plot. Like, did they get tricked into this? Are their arguments and beliefs a kind of magic bean that they have been told will transform their lives?

If that is the case, it’s almost more disturbing because Jack wasn’t just gullible, he was kind of a murdering thief. Upon discoving someone different from him, he decided the person was a monster and therefore it was okay to rob and murder him. I never could figure out why that was a happy ending.

But… it does make me think.

My street name is….

“Mood Killah”

I wrote a great blog about meeting a woman at the hospital yesterday, but as my mind wandered and I just kept ‘talking’, something changed. This really didn’t go the direction I thought it would. I found myself wondering if the abolitionists of the past, looked at the 13th Amendment and shrugged, “Great only 376 more things to figure out.” Did they feel suffocated by the amount that still needed to be done?

I *think* I’d be embarrassed to go back in time and tell them what we did with their hard work. “We have more slaves than ever. We pretend we don’t. Our country prefers children. There’s actually growing movement to make child slavery legal. It’s even sanctioned and encouraged by one of the fastest growing/spreading religions in the world. There are more laws protecting that religion than protecting our kids. Sorry we suck at emancipation. But bruh, the quotes look really cool in memes. *winky face*”…. cause I emoji when  talk now.

I’ve often fantasized about Mary Shelley crashing the Women’s March with an entourage of monsters. But, much like abolition, I’d be sad and ashamed to tell her, Eleanor Roosevelt, or Susan B. Anthony that everything they ever fought for has be castigated to ensuring that women be permitted kill the unborn and be as raunchy, promiscuous, and vile as any of the worst males society has to offer, yet ensure they are treated like the best.

I guess today is a little cloudy for me.  The sun will come out tomorrow… tomorrow…

Now, I don’t even like the article I wrote, so  here’s the content I was going to hyperlink and the last paragraph that sent me down the path.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12

Truthfully, I find it a pollyanna idea and a fruitless endeavor.  Take a look around. What do we do with those kids after we identify them?  Obviously, they need to be followed up with, to figure out if they’re victims or have other issues.  Then, if they need counseling and services?  What if they need to go to fostercare? What if they need inpatient care? We can’t even meet the needs of the few kids we do know about. How do we handle them when they are identified in droves? Any one care to look up the adults that were busted in the FBI’s latest sweep?  I do every time. Misdemeanors and outstanding warrants. Federal beefs are rare. What hope do we have of ensuring the kids we identify will actually be protected?  Their abusers locked up for eternity?….